It must be said: Germany’s entry, “Satellite” by Lena, was a very so-so song, and it wasn’t exactly an electric vocal performance. Strange that they received so many votes, although this sort of thing is said every year.

But what about the lyrics? A research and semantics laboratory had the fun idea of pasting all the Eurovision song lyrics together and running them through a semantics analyser, Intellexer. These sort of things are usually used to quickly analyse and summarise long texts, for the purpose of creating executive summaries. In the case of the Eurovision, the result is almost a corny version of haiku:

Let the sun shine, glide away my moon
Let the light of my love shine bright
I don’t believe any more your shallow heart.
Feeling the love ’till the day when I die.
For the cruel-cruel time when I’m first time in love

As many lyricists seem to write a compendium of worn-out clichés, it’s not surprising that an executive summary of Eurovision lyrics is itself a compendium of worn-our clichés.

If there are any lyrics that actually touched, please let us know by dropping a message. Read more about Intellexer.

I sometimes wonder if there’s a large book with complaints one can make about Eurovision entries that people pull out every year. French MP Jacques Myard is complaining that France’s Eurovision is partly in English. Post-modern dandy Sebastien Tellier’s “Divine” is in English (of sorts). Almost predictably, a number of politicians have taken it upon themselves to chastise the television company and label for choosing it.
The complaint is an old one: why is France representing itself in English? It’s a good enough question, as Edith Piaf’s biopic continues to generate huge interest in chanson around the world. But it’s also a pointless question. Lots of artists perform in English these days.

It’s just a shame Tellier couldn’t find a lyricist, and resorted to stream-of-consciousness drivel such as:

Oh oh oh
I’m alone in life to say
I love the Chivers anyway
‘Cause Chivers look divine

…
Oh oh oh I’m
Looking for a band today
I see the Chivers anyway
I ‘ll be a Chivers guy some day
In my mind

Yegads. Here’s a good candidate for misunderstood lyrics! As one of the posters on the YouTube page said, “At least if we’re going to win, we’ll do it in style.” Amandine de le Richardière is credited as co-lyricist.

So the unthinkable has happened: a country has decided to NOT take part in the Eurovision Song Contest. I remember hearing comments in Dublin after multiple wins that it was costing too much and that Ireland couldn’t afford to win again. But to not take part at all is quite dramatic. Why the fuss?

The Austrian channel ORF cited “issues” about how the contestants are being organised into pools for the semi-finals. They are anxious to avoid the pools splitting Europe into East and West voting blocks (with the East inevitably winning). As the rules have not yet been announced, Austria is desisting.

I happen to think last year’s winning entry from Serbia was quite good, actually – not really my style but an honest song. Many people have been underwhelmed by Austria’s recent contributions, which inevitably means that there are calls of sour grapes. Jonathan King, who has organised British selections had this to say about “political” voting. “That’s what everyone said when I took over in 1995. It took me two years but I brought the UK a winner in 1997 with the largest points margin ever at that time [Katrina and the Waves, "Love Shine a Light"]. They will all vote for you if your entry is any good. Losers always blame others.”

But the quote that is being remembered comes from Lorenz, “As long as the Song Contest is a political parade ground and not an international entertainment programme, ORF has no desire to send more talent out of Austria to a competition where they have no chances.”

It’s that time of the year, when composers start thinking about Eurovision. I got a message a few days back: would I be interested in doing some lyrics for a Belgian singer that wants to enter? I have mixed feelings. There has been an awful lot of rubbish produced for Eurovision over the years. Do I really want to add to it?

It’s revealing that the first person I mentioned it to said, “Lots of money if you win”. What, is it really just about the money? Besides Eurovision has traditionally been, to quote Abba, a case of “The Winner Takes it All”. There are no real second or third places, as these acts just don’t register. In fact, if you think about it, there have not been all that many acts launched through Eurovision at all. Even ones that were known before, such as Russia’s Tatu, sank after appearing on it. And Belgium has had a particularly bad record (although being Irish, I probably have a little luck on my side).

So what to say? I’m waiting to hear a demo of the singer, as I’d like to see what sort of personality he has. Meanwhile, I’ve been thinking of some of the good songs that have come from the contest. The first that sprang to mind was “Gente di mare” by Umberto Tozzi and Raf in 1987. Have you got any favourites?

Check “Gente di mare” on iTunes:

Eurovision wouldn’t be Eurovision without a good argument. Last year, Iceland provided the comic relief with a song that included the F word. This time, some people are questioning if Israel is not pushing the limit of humour a little with a topical comedy track called “Push the Button”… Who exactly should be pushing the button? Will the song lyrics cause Israel to be disqualified this year?

“Push the Button” is a jokey reference to the current atmosphere in Israel, which feels threatened by its neighbours, and Iran in particular.

The world is full of terror
If someone makes an error
He’s gonna blow us up to biddy biddy kingdom come
There are some crazy rulers they hide and try to fool us
With demonic, technologic willingness to harm….

(Translation from Hebrew:)
Messages are exploding above me
missiles flying over me and falling on me…
Between a rocket and a weapon
between a kidnapped person and opportunism…
nothing is what everybody does.

“Laughing at monsters”

Singer Kobi Oz of the group Teapacks told Ynet.co.il, “Some may think it refers to Israeli leaders, some may think it talks about other countries’ leaders. We are not taking sides. The message we wish to convey is that all we want is to live, smell the flowers bloom and have fun. Last year all of Europe had a laugh on horror movies monsters from Finland. This year we give the opportunity to laugh on the living monsters among us”.

Sounds reasonable enough. But the Eurovision rules specifically forbid political lyrics, speeches or gestures. The lyrics will be reviewed by the Eurovision organisation, with disqualification as a possible outcome (although it’s more likely they would be asked to re-record the song if they feel it breaks their rules).

This is not the first time Israel has caused ripples at the Eurovision. Anyone remember the transvestite Dana International?

Fore more about this, visit the Israeli Broadcasting Authority’s website or ESCToday.

Iceland’s entry for the Eurovision Song Contest is causing ripples. The song, “Congratulations”, is sung by Sylvia Night, a fictional character created by actress Agusta Eva. The song contains the line, “I’ll fucking win”. The organisers, EBU, have formally warned that if she sings the song on the night, Iceland will be breaching two rules. The only problem is that the song already features on the official album already. Night/Eva has already replied that she’ll, “fucking say what (she) fucking wants”. Whatever happened to the old “beep” function in TV studios?

Our source for this info is ESCToday, a Eurovision news site.